Counting mackerel

Have you ever thought to do the mathematics?

How many years have you been coming here now?

So that is fifteen summers you have been here and when you are here you are here for more than two weeks and in those fourteen days how many times are you out catching fish?

Feck there are days I’ve see you go out more than the once as if you are trying to catch up on yourself. And I know they are a fickle fish and you are not going to catch a few every time you go out but most times there will be at least one on the line.

So we can say that over your fourteen days you might be out there on at least seven of those days catching fish. So how many fish do you catch when you are catching them?

There will be times you are out there by yourself and you take twenty minutes to have forty of them in the bottom of the boat. And then there will other times and there are four or more of you in the boat, some of them children, and there are three lines over the side and you are swapping them round so all can have a turn and the feckin’ things get caught up and tangled. And then if you catch a fish there is such a squeal of voices that the fish left down there in the water will feck off back down the bay and all you are left with is the one fish and your tangled lines and disappointed children

Now if we cut those numbers in half that makes an average of twenty fish that you catch when you go out there over the course of your seven trips. So that is one hundred and forty fish you have out of the water over your summer. And you have done that fifteen times so that is two thousand one hundred fish you have taken out of the bay.

And over those fifteen years has there been a day when you have missed out on a trip up here to the pub? That being the case shall we do the mathematics on your good pints?

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