I was bound to get it wrong when I tried to impress the teenage daughter by telling her that I had been dancing to Beyoncé the previous evening. I started off okay when I told her I had been dancing to Single Ladies but then hit a gale of laughter when I went on to say I had then danced to another song about putting a ring on it. I was told firmly that these were both the same song and I was a fool for thinking otherwise.

These would appear to be the dangers to be had from an office Christmas party.

We were only on the second day in December and in a lot of ways it seemed far too early to be putting a festive look on my face. It was the first office party I had been to for about five years and the good intention was to be there for just a couple of hours, use up my drink coupons, and go home. I had even organised a tap on the shoulder about 9.30 so as to share a taxi back to Birkenhead.

Those good intentions started to slide even before I left the office as I flipped through some of my favourite Christmas songs and remembered the guitar mayhem that is Bootsey X & the Lovemasters’  – (Santa’s Got A) Bomb For Whitey. When something is better than Motorhead you know it has to be good. There may have been a half glass of wine involved.

The good intentions slipped further as some of us tucked into a couple of pints in The Ship & Mitre. There we appeared to be in the minority in not have spent the afternoon drinking. There was a temptation to find a seat, make ourselves comfortable, and spend the rest of the evening filling ourselves with good beer.

But there were drink tokens to be had in the Albert Dock and so after a couple of pints we roused ourselves and made away down there.

It was a good job we did because there was dancing to be had, maracas and I eventually came home with another garland of plastic flowers to hang with other two on the head of my bed. I did get a tap on the shoulder but the DJ was about to play some Chic so going home wasn’t really an option.

Saturday morning was slow and so I cooked a curried parsnip soup for lunch courtesy of Jane Grigson and listened to Laura Cantrell. There was also time to admire the small stock of Christmas trees at the grocers although it is still too early to be getting our own.